I am 24 years old and my life is being ruined by bad thoughts about someone I love and want to never see hurt. While we don’t focus on Malevolence OCD, we present general information about the condition, its effects on family members, and the best ways to treat it. Others include: Beating someone with a baseball bat; Stabbing someone with a pencil, skewer, scissors, or other sharp object; Sexually assaulting someone If you are feeling guilt or remorse for what you’ve done, then you likely are aware that you had some responsibility in hurting someone. Another perspective. Here are some that I recommend; check your library or click on the link to purchase them from Amazon. Avoidance is also a very common response to Harm obsessions: avoiding the news in case there’s a triggering story, movies and TV shows with violence, knives and other sharp objects, the grocery store and other places with lots of people, and anything else that leads to the obsessions. Reassurance leads to needing more reassurance. Rather than fearing that they or someone they love will be a victim, they are gripped with terror that they themselves might commit some horrific act. Epilepsy/Seizures: What to do when someone has a seizure? When this happens, the individual is dealing with Harm OCD. I co-wrote Overcoming OCD with Janet Singer, whose son overcame severely debilitating OCD with exposure and response prevention therapy. 120: Dr. Joel Minden — The Best Tools for Managing Anxiety & Depression, Ep. Over time it will get easier to do normal activities without compulsions. However, the point of ERP is not to know for sure that the obsessive thoughts aren’t a concern, or even to get rid of them. So our minds feed us images of bad outcomes to help us avoid them. 122: Dr. Jonah Paquette — Why Not Make Room for All of Your Experience? I’m about to ask him to wash the broccoli when an image suddenly comes to mind of him standing at the sink with his back to me and me holding the knife behind him. As you might imagine, the work can be challenging—and at the same time worth the effort as it leads to freedom from OCD. An aunt might avoid being around her nieces and nephews for years out of fear that she’s a child molester—and may avoid having kids of her own for the same reason. And yet the thoughts come back, over and over. To actually commit such a heinous act would be the worst thing imaginable. Stabbing someone with a knife is a common one, probably because knives are so readily available and the idea is so grisly. “I have random thoughts of hurting myself badly. It’s also common to check repeatedly for evidence that the person wouldn’t hurt anyone. I also maintain a Closed Facebook Group where members can find support and information about MOCD. An individual might think, for example, "DID is a mental disorder, and so is OCD, so maybe I'm capable of doing really bad things to other people." It’s important to mention that another form of Harm-related OCD can also be directed toward oneself: What if I commit suicide? Other kids will require another level of exposure through the use of audiotape loops. Learning to forgive yourself involves a willingness to change and let go. I’m also left feeling like I must be really messed up. I made sure if I was with her I had another adult present just incase. My brother comes in the kitchen and asks me if I need any help. Feel free to keep watching the game.” I wait until he’s out of the room before picking up the knife again. One of the most distressing is that having such thoughts mean that you unconsciously want to do the things that come into your mind. 123: Malachi Gillihan — How to Let Life Live Through You After Trauma. A person who is actually dangerous may have a history of assault and will feel a desire to hurt others. What kind of person does that?” As we’ll see is, the answer is: someone who doesn’t want to do anything wrong. Only last year I found out that I have been dealing with a form of OCD called ‘intrusive thoughts’. Ep. “Sadly, some folks want others to feel their pain, to hurt as much as they do – or more. The primary myth is that having this condition means that “deep down” the person really wants to do the thing s/he is afraid of. You’re not a violent person,” or, “Thoughts are just thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts.” Or they might ask their spouse whenever they have a compulsion, “You don’t think I would actually do anything like that, do you?” or, “Having that thought doesn’t make me a bad person, right?”. Some common examples: fear of purposefully hurting loved ones (assaulting or killing them) or yourself fear of accidentally harming loved ones (burning down … Obsessions about hurting others can take different forms. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Another person may have thoughts about harming someone else – but it’s important to note that in reality these people are unlikely to actually harm someone. I’m fully aware that trying to distinguish between these two categories, important as it is, will almost certainly feed the doubt in those who have this form of OCD. In fact, these thoughts can become frequent enough to become intrusive, taking over the person’s life. As we’ll discuss later on, beating OCD means refusing to play its game. it could be any1 or anything. So, people with violent unwanted intrusive thoughts … It’s important to distinguish between OCD about maliciously hurting others and a truly high risk for causing harm. Top depression treating techniques revealed! There are many myths about unwanted intrusive thoughts. With the right treatment, the obsessive voice will tend to quiet down; stepping out of the fight against the thoughts takes away their power. When a Family Member Has OCD is my go-to recommendation for an OCD sufferer’s loved ones. Depressed hardened criminals are often tormented by religious thoughts. Let’s take a closer look at this form of OCD and how it can be treated effectively (yes, it can). Typical OCD Thoughts . This doesn’t sound normal to me. Please take away these thoughts forever.”. Individuals with violent obsessions may fear becoming serial killers or deliberately hurting someone they love. 121: Tim Payton & Douglass Teschner — How to Have Better Political Discussions, Ep. So a person will need to stop seeking reassurance, saying ritualized prayers, checking to see if they might be capable of violence, and so forth. i dont feel the same person as i used 2 be 3 months ago. In depression, the brain turns your thoughts against you. They’ll generally involve trying to prevent the thoughts, trying to prevent the feared actions, and trying to make sure I’m not a bad person. I would trust an individual with MOCD to stand behind me on a train platform as a train arrives, to hold a knife near me, or to be around my kids. Anxiety simply causes issues that bring them out more. You might even see or hear things that no one else does. They don't care and I actually really want to get them back and I don't think some of my thoughts … I want to hurt my ex and her new bf also her family for the way they treated me. In a related way, the general public often misunderstands MOCD, too. Aggressive obsessions often focus on violent, murderous (stabbing, shooting, choking, poisoning), or criminal (arson, bank robberies) acts and involve graphic mental images of blood, injury, and death. I won’t take it seriously. It was almost as if someone had suddenly punched a hole in a dam. What To Say (And Not To Say) To Someone With Depression, Best medication for paranoid schizophrenia, Facts about teen suicide: causes of teenage suicide, Teen Mental Health - Understanding teen depression. When it comes right down to it, it’s hard to be completely sure of anything. Religious individuals are tormented by profanities, mothers with post-partum depression are tormented by thoughts about harming their new baby, and in your case you’ve received evil thoughts about loved ones. They’ll start with the easier ones and gradually work up to the more difficult ones. Aggressive obsessions affect individuals of all ages, including adults, … I then do several things that are meant to prevent what I’m afraid of: I put down the knife, encourage my brother to stay out of the kitchen, try not to think about it, and say a short prayer. You didn’t do something bad because you are a fundamentally bad person; there was an intent, or valid motivation, behind your action. Imagine if you lived every day worried—maybe even convinced—that you were terribly dangerous or depraved. A man might never go out with friends because he’s afraid of assaulting one of them. It’s written by Jon Hershfield, an expert in treating OCD and working with families, who happens to have OCD himself. Like touching them in bad ways or doing these things with them. People who suffer from OCD are plagued with obsessive thoughts, which in some cases can be violent. This uncertainty—or rather, the effort to eliminate uncertainty—is what fuels OCD. it could be any1 or anything. But what they do is this: once you are in a bad mood — be it anxiety, depression or both — your negative thoughts will maintain and deepen your bad mood. Talking to someone else about what is bothering you can have serious benefits. I don’t focus on this topic here because it’s nuanced enough that it deserves being addressed separately. this is not me i realy want them 2 stop, i have been 2 the doctors and they are sending me 2 b assesed by a mental health specialist. People also generally feel more confident that they won’t act on their thoughts. Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. All of us want to avoid anxiety and prevent bad things from happening if possible, so the person will do something—the compulsion—to try to make sure s/he doesn’t hurt anyone. Freedom From Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Ep. Sometimes I get ideas about hurting or killing them. And while the avoidance might provide some temporary relief, it plays the same role as compulsions in keeping the person in the clutches of OCD. Violent Thoughts Are Normal Thoughts Gone Wild The first thing to realize is that violent thoughts don't start as an anxiety symptom, nor do they mean anything about your personality. 118: Dr. Mitch Greene — Managing Loss & Upheaval in the Time of COVID, Ep. Other comforting hurt quotes. It’s exactly that effort to avoid having violent thoughts that causes them to multiply. i am just worried that they would take me away from the people i love (family). 119: Dr. Jason Ong — The Most Important Principles for Good Sleep, Ep. Which raises the question, if I don’t want to do these things, why do I think about them all the time? I’m standing in the kitchen chopping vegetables. The person may try to resist those urges because of the likely consequences, but not because the idea of acting on the thoughts or urges is incredibly unsettling. Others include: Again, the individual with OCD does not want to do these terrible things and is not at a greater risk than the average person for doing them. The person might tell herself, “You would never do that. They might include: The therapist will work with the person to come up with a list of exposures for the person to start confronting. Then a person with MOCD might be horrified that he’s not as horrified by the thoughts as he used to be, and may mistakenly believe that he’s warming up to the idea of acting on them. As you probably know, it’s virtually impossible to keep something out of our minds without thinking about it—otherwise how will we know if we thought it? We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. And we can learn to better tolerate that uncertainty. This is simply not true, and, in fact, the opposite is true. It’s like I keep thinking in these crazy sexual ways about my parents and my dog and cat. Janet tells the story of her son’s recovery, and I provide information on many topics related to OCD. Ep. Our brains are great at imagining things that haven’t happened. The real harm, of course, happens to the individual who has Malevolence OCD, and the fallout can be devastating. I’ve covered the basics of ERP elsewhere (see this post on my Psychology Today blog); here I’ll discuss some of the specific applications for Malevolence OCD. I have had bad thoughts like these for about a year now and I have been very scared of them and always questioned and worried about why I have had them in my head, it scares me so much and I didn’t know what to do but reading this helps me out a lot knowing other people get these thoughts also, because I’m a very nice person and these thoughts I get are horrific and I know I would never … I could imagen me doing it , and what scared me the most is that everything I saw suddenly became a weapon . Sometimes a person with MOCD might seek out a professional with expertise in OCD—not only for treatment but as a form of “checking with an authority.” Unfortunately the relief a person generally feels from reassurance doesn’t tend to last long, sometimes not even until the end of the session. Psychosis can be a sign of a mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. If your thoughts are bizarre or paranoid, you might be experiencing signs of psychosis. What if I impulsively jump from a bridge? In MOCD, these obsessions and compulsions happen over and over, taking up an incredible amount of mental space and filling my days with fear and dread. Please know that I don’t mean them and would never act on them. This is 2 months on from my split of 2 and half years. [Listen to an interview with MOCD expert Jon Hershfield, MFT]. It’s something our minds are good at and that helps us in countless ways. hi 4 the past month or so i have been having bad thoughts about hurting someone. Others might ask God for forgiveness, perhaps with a set ritualized prayer: “God, I’m sorry to have these thoughts. In a nutshell, ERP is about doing the opposite of what OCD wants. What’s worse, constantly thinking about these fears can make them seem less upsetting simply from the repetition. I avoid being with my daughter alone. I have been dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for 17 years, but until recently I’d been totally unaware of what I was dealing with. We might also fear for our loved ones’ safety, or our own. We probably feel revulsion when we hear about these things, wondering how a person could do something so despicable. Most commonly it is fear of physically harming others. After all, we can’t be 100% certain that any given person won’t act violently, myself included. They are far more upsetting than occasional images or thoughts of violence. For instance, it is common for people with harm OCD to have thoughts … Are You Obsessing about Something or Someone? Crucially, the exposure will have to be coupled with prevention of the compulsions—exposure without ritual prevention won’t be helpful. Obsessions about hurting others can take different forms. These thoughts are so common that 85% of the non-OCD population admits to having unwanted violent thoughts, including thoughts about harming themselves and loved ones. I have them, others I talk to have them, and in fact the vast majority of people (whether or not they have OCD) will have these kinds of thoughts. The therapist will work with the child to first write out a script of their feared outcome in all its detail. I was having thoughts of hurting my daughter and boyfriend . Hi. In reality, a person with MOCD is probably the last person who would hurt anyone. The type of harm the person fears can be pretty much anything. It is FREE! when i have these thoughts it realy gets me down and i am affraied and sceared, i try 2 think of other things but when i do concentrat on thinking of other thing all of a sudden the bad thoughts pop back up. For some individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), the fear can take on a very different quality. You’ll find a compassionate and authoritative guide in this book.Freedom From Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a classic on treating OCD effectively. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. However, for Harm OCD sufferers, the presence and frequency of these thoughts is debilitating. 41. This example has many of the common features of OCD. over a year ago. There are also several excellent books on OCD and effective treatment. The compulsions (or “rituals”) in MOCD are intended to prevent what the person is afraid of. God forbid I think to myself as I shudder at the thought and try to put it out of my mind—Who thinks such things? Sometimes kids will still have thoughts but they say the thoughts don’t upset them anymore or get in their way. De très nombreux exemples de phrases traduites contenant "thoughts about hurting" – Dictionnaire français-anglais et moteur de recherche de traductions françaises. Most of the time when someone says she’s afraid of hurting people, we take these concerns seriously, especially in the current environment where we’re told, “See Something, Say Something.” If we don’t probe a little deeper we’ll miss the crucial point that the person doesn’t want or plan to act on the fears. To do this, try engaging in compassion-focused attention. Defining Harm OCD. 40. After all, how do I know I don’t want to hurt someone? He said I had a brief psychotic episode and depression. Intrusive thoughts may involve violent obsessions about hurting others or themselves. The exposure part will involve doing the things that bring up obsessions. i am just worried that they would take me away from the people i love (family). I’ve had many requests for more information about how to find help for Malevolence OCD. Or what if I just “lose it” and snap? Often in MOCD a person will ask, “But if I don’t want to do it, why am I thinking about it so often? You can help to prevent suicide by recognize the warning signs! Try instead thinking about your bad grade as a challenge that you can surmount on the next exam by studying harder. When we aim for certainty, OCD always holds the trump card. One of the most common compulsions is reassurance, either from oneself or others. If you are having a bad day, make someone else’s day. For example, you might feel like the FBI is watching everything you do, or that someone is trying to poison you. It’s common for OCD to lead to depression as a result of these self-condemning beliefs as well as the withdrawal from enjoyable activities and relationships. this is not me i realy want them 2 stop, i have been 2 the doctors and they are sending me 2 b assesed by a mental health specialist. If you or someone you know is having thoughts about wanting to die or is thinking about hurting themselves or someone else, get help quickly. The International OCD Foundation is an excellent starting place; check out their website. 117: Mark Gregory Karris — Rewriting Destructive Beliefs About God & Faith. I call this form of OCD “Malevolence OCD” (MOCD) because the person fears doing something truly evil. Overcoming Harm OCD focuses specifically on the Malevolence OCD subtype of Harm OCD, with “mindfulness and CBT tools for coping with unwanted violent thoughts.” It’s written by OCD expert Jon Hershfield, MFT, who wrote two other books I recommend (see below). It’s important to point out that thoughts like “What if I just decided to stab this person?” are not at all unique to MOCD. And what if I don’t want to right now but then have a sudden urge that I act on without thinking? 116: Tim Gillihan & Carolyn Gillihan — What Does Love Look Like When Our Politics Clash? this is not me and i want 2 go bk 2 the person i once was... Id just like to let you know i have read your post. Lately, I have violent thoughts of hurting something. Students might not go to class where they worry they’ll attack the professor. What if I’ve been pretending all along to be “normal”? Again, these thoughts are distressing as they may include the fear that you may hurt someone, even though you have probably never hurt someone in your life. Ep. If I have a sudden thought of, “What if I pushed this person in front of the oncoming Amtrak train?” I might think it’s a weird thought and then my mind will move on to something else. 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